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Lesbian Notions by Paula Martinac

You must remember this
Many times since I began writing this column in 1997, Ive had a distinct feeling of deja vu as I sat down to type. Thats not surprising, since social change moves at a snails pace, and those of us who chronicle the LGBT movement often find ourselves writing about the same issues and ideas - including the fact that social change occurs slowly. But as I look back, I realize that LGBT people have indeed come an enormous distance since I started my career as an op-ed writer. Sometimes, however, its hard to remember that, and it seems like weve been going in circles. So in this, my final turn as author of this column, Id like to offer my readers some historical perspective on our communitys resilience and determination, and our commitment to the dream of equality. My very first op-ed pieces dealt with a hot-button issue of 1997 - marriage rights for Gay couples - and I revisited the topic many times over the years. Not surprisingly, same-sex marriage is now an even hotter item on the LGBT plate, in part because weve waged a rigorous campaign for it for the sake of our families, but also because religious conservatives have turned the issue around for their own political gain. Many among us who in 1997 figured wed be legally marrying soon in Hawaii or Vermont got discouraged as marriage equality fell through time and again. Today theres just one state where same-sex couples can legally wed, and then only if theyre residents. And frustratingly, many straight folks mistakenly think we can marry in more places that we can. At the same time, consider how far our activism on behalf of our relationships has taken us in less than a decade. Domestic partnership, which was still a pretty radical notion in 1997, today seems old-fashioned as a response to same-sex couples legal needs. Indeed, most countries of Europe have had some form of domestic partner legislation in place for years. Just five years ago, civil unions were the stuff of violent debate in Vermont, where the term originated. That year, my partner and I vacationed in northern New England and saw angry Take back Vermont bumper stickers on many a pickup truck. But this year, without any prompting by so-called activist judges, and with very little public to-do, the Connecticut legislature passed civil-union legislation. What will five or eight additional years bring on the marriage-rights front? In Canada, just a couple of years ago, marriage rights were extended to Gay couples in only a handful of provinces. Now, despite fierce opposition from the right, Gay marriage will become the law of the land there by months end. And amazingly, Catholic Spain has taken the same bold move toward equality. Ive also written a lot of copy over the years about straight peoples changing attitudes toward LGBT people. Public opinion is an important component of any civil rights struggle - history shows that if attitudes dont change along with laws, social change may come to an impasse. Consider, for example, that deeply entrenched racism still keeps many African Americans as second-class citizens long after the passage of civil-rights legislation in the 1960s. At this time of government-sanctioned animosity toward LGBT people, its sometimes difficult to see that weve made any progress in the area of public opinion. But although religious conservatives are very vocal about their aversion to us - and our government participates in the antiGay bashing - polls consistently tell us that Americans are becoming increasingly Gay-tolerant. Indeed, studies show that young people who have grown up in the age of Pride marches, out family members, and TV shows like Ellen and Will & Grace are more Gay-friendly than their parents and grandparents. Some of us belittle the idea that TV and movies - which, whether Gay- or straight-themed, are often divorced from anyones reality - can effect social change. But interestingly, researchers at the University of Minnesota have come up with a theory they call parasocial contact hypothesis, which posits that contact with positive Gay TV characters and personalities can result in a decrease in prejudice - very much like positive contact with Gay colleagues and neighbors does. These researchers demonstrated that exposure to the Fab Five of Queer Eye or to characters like David and Keith on Six Feet Under actually reduced antiGay attitudes among college students. What do these developments portend for us? Maybe in a decade a progressive Lesbian op-ed writer will be discussing all the states that have written marriage equality into law - due, in part, to the fact that our community turned the tide of public opinion in our favor. OK, thats a dream. But Americans are famous for being dreamers, and LGBT people are among those who, to quote a recent New York Times Magazine article, are doing the hard work of reducing the gap between dream and reality. Paula Martinac is a playwright, novelist, and editor in chief of Q Syndicate. She can be reached care of this publication or at LesbianNotions@qsyndicate.com.